


The Messenger of Guilt

by Surisun



Series: Too late for Stiles [5]
Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV), Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crying, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Guilt, Hurt Stiles, Letters, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-08 06:20:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12248733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Surisun/pseuds/Surisun
Summary: Stiles wrote three letters and handed Mason the responsibility of delivering them, not just because Mason is a kind guy who's willing to help but because Stiles had to teach him one last lesson before he dies.





	The Messenger of Guilt

**Author's Note:**

> This work is part of the series "Too Late for Stlies" and I don't think that reading it without reading the previous parts would make a alot of sense but if you want to give it a shot, who am I to stop you? :))

_Then_

He draws a circle .  
Then another one then another one, but when he looks at the white sheet in front of him it is covered with whirls and not circles .The shapes mirror those in his head , deep and messy and infinite, so fascinating that he loses himself to staring at the hypnotising pattern for so long..  
However, a knock on his door kicks his dreamy mind back to the reality,  
" Stiles , wake up, you will be late for school!"  
His dad shouts and Stiles doesn't bother to correct him, he doesn't tell him that there is no need to wake up since he didn't go to sleep last night.

  
He was up all night writing...

  
One look at the 3 folded letters sitting innocently on the corner of his desk makes him feel weary .. who could have imagined that writing few lines can drain so much energy, even when he doesn't really remember what exactly did he write because the moment he held the pen, the words stared flooding from his soul to the sheet of paper without any permission from his conscious brain .  
His head hurts and his chest is tight but what's new?  
The familiar pains never truly fade and it had been long time since he felt any kind of serinity ...  
Still he walks to the bathroom, since his mantra has always been to just keep doing what ever the hell he had to do till the right time comes.  
He loses himself under the cold stream of the shower for 10 minutes before he hopes in the jeep and drives to school..  
He sadly doesn't get crushed by some drunk driver like he hopes every morning, so he has no choice but to slide his fake mask on his face as yet another day of his useless life rolls in front of his eyes..  
Lydia ignores him all the day and Scott is talking to Liam .  
He watches Mason standing by his locker eyeing his best friend with something akin to irritation and jelousy shining in his eyes, and Stiles just feels like he has to give him a small smile in sympathy .

Because like Stiles, Mason had lost his best friend to the supernatural glory the day Liam was bitten, so Stiles can certainly relate , he is pretty much aware of how this kind of life feels and the fact that it only gets bad day after day and this sudden realisation that Mason is following his own personal steps makes Stiles keen on giving the kid a favor so he doesn't repeat the same mistakes Stileso made before.

It's easy to approach him, and Stiles can only hope that he is doing the right thing and that he is not putting his trust in yet another source of disappointment.

" Mason , I need a favor"

The younger boy is unsurprisingly interested in offering his help, glowing with the young excitement that Stiles himself once had , he doesn't hesitate to nod his head even though he doesn't know exactly what he is getting himself in to,  
" sure Stiles , anything for you "

" I have three folded papers that needs to be delivered to 3 people in certain dates"

" okay?"

" you have to understand Mason, it is pretty important that these letters make it in the exact time I tell you, not a day sooner or later"

" it has something to do with the pack?"

" yeah.. sure .. it is.."

He hands him the three massages and makes sure he won't open them or show them to anyone no matter what, then he gives him the dates and the names , Mason is little bit confused about the whole ordeal but he promises to do it.

The older teen doesn't know if the younger will put 2 plus 2 togather once Stiles does what he is fully intending to do , but if he knows Mason at all then the boy won't take long time to figure it in the near future that Stiles had used him as his personal messenger of death . The older boy fears that he is going to think that he was intended too in Stiles revenge , which is not true , so Stiles makes sure he understands that,

" Mason, you should know you are not part of this okay ? Whatever happens you should always know you didn't do something wrong "  
Mason frowns and looks at him curiously but he finally nods again, so Stiles gives him a satisfied smile.. If anything, he hopes he is helping the younger boy to see the ugly face of this life so maybe he can get himself out of it before he ends up as broken as Stiles...  
...................

Once he drops the three folded papers, he skips school and goes home with a sudden surprising sense of relief that washes over him, his head hurts and his chest is tight but now his pains got in to a quieter dull in the background.  
He knows why he wrote these letters, and it is not because he thinks that his friends deserve an explanation, No, it is because he still had a lace of void inside of him and he knows that these words are going to hurt them really bad .  
Deep down he believes that they deserve to hurt as bad as they hurt him..plus it is not like he can really do a major damage after all he is so weak that all he can manage is three pathetic papers as his tool of revenge.  
The three pathetic papers which represents the bravest effort he ever dared to show in attempt to fight for himself, a sad reminder that till the last day of his life , he would always be weak and piteous , adding one other reason to the list that proves that he has no option but to end his misery once and for all..  
It's Thursday when he gives Mason the letters and the pack meeting is on Friday night..  
........................

_Now_

  
The silence is unnerving. .  
He sits with his knees hugged to his chest and rolls the three folded letters between his fingers as he stares at them..  
" Stiles killed himself !"  
He whispers to the silence as a small tear escapes his eye.  
He is sure that the explanation of to why Stiles did it is only shrouded by his hand securely engulfing the folded papers....

_Three white papers!_

He is both curious and little angry that he has to fight himself for not to unfold them and start reading, but then he remembers that it is not really his place ,he promised Stiles to deliver them and not to read them..  
Still it is intimidating, who can believe that these thin papers can sumerize a person whole existence , or the lack of in the matter, which is only ridiculously heart aching,and depressing, and freaking sad ! and.. .. _oh God!!_  
He wipes his tears but they don't stop falling. .  
"Shit Stiles! Who gave you the freaking right? !"  
Who gave Stiles the right to drop a freaking bomb on him then just check out like that ?! How can he make Mason part of some intimate , private, secret goodbye without even telling him..

Holy shit!! It is unfair. ..

Mason is just a kid ! Barely a high schooler whom hardly figuring out living let alone death! Or this type of death at least ! This vulnerable and broken type of death!  
It scares him more than anything he had to go through in his life , even more than the time he was in a car accident with his cousin and both of them almost died..  
See, he knows that death is not at all one type! . There are accidents, sickness, the peaceful dying in your sleep and there is the worst type among them all: suicide!  
The death that always leaves a deep pit in souls behind, a lot of guilt, unsettlness ,and a lingering pain that never really disappeare..

The truth is that no one really recovers suicide and he certainly knows he won't! !

After all , He liked Stiles because Stiles was his role model!

Every one was telling him and Liam that they are basically mini Scott and Stiles , a ware wolf and his human best friend..  
Stiles himself was the one who initiated this bond between both of them, telling him that no one would understand what they ( Mason and Stiles ) have to endure on daily basis as 2 ordinary humen being members of a pack of wolves where their best friends were the Alpha and his beta..  
Mason believed Stiles when he told him they can do it !

_Except .... It was a lie .._

  
_clearly, Stiles could not do it.._

_Stiles killed himself.._

  
_Stiles betrayed his trust and left him alone.._

For a while Mason is just lost , he doesn't understand what is right and what's not , he spends the night imagining Stiles laying in a bath tub and cutting his wrists and how in few years that would be him instead. .  
His parents notice his sudden loss of interest in every thing, and they worry about him , though like everyone in town they heard about the sad news of the Sheriff's kid killing himself so they just assume he is going through the same shock ,that everyone who goes to the same school the late teen used to go to , are facing now. .  
Mason doesn't tell them that Stiles was more than another student in his school, it won't change the fact that Stiles is dead and Mason is lost now anyway, but despite everything he is fully intending on finishing his mission before he deals with his own inner torment. .  
He goes to Derek 's loft and slips the folded piece of paper inside the beta's book the same day he slipped a similar one in Scott's gym bag at school .  
Lydia's is the hardest to sneak in , since she barely showed at school since Stiles funeral, and he can't just break in to her room..  
But he promised Stiles..  
So finally, he maneges enough courage to knock on her house door and personally deliver it to her, and start running away before she unfolds it..  
The next day at school, he walks straight towards where Liam is currently standing by his locker while simultaneously ignoring the suicide posters that are suddenly displayed on every wall in school, he doesn't even pit an eye at the silly stick notes and flowers that other students start to accumulate on Stiles locker( because people start to give a damn about someone once they die even if they were total jerks to them while they were alive)..  
Liam catches the anxiety in his scent, sharply turnning to face him, and this is when Mason tells him that he can't be part of the pack anymore and that he will be moving in with his grand parents to finish high school in Boston .  
Liam is shocked and on the verge of crying but Mason just can't ignore what he believes it is the right thing anymore, after all it is the one last lesson that Stiles taught him ..

There is no place for humans in a pack of ware wolves..

They either get killed like Allison or they kill themselves like Stiles...

He already lost Liam the day he was bitten..


End file.
